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Brigid of the White Spring

16/4/2019

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One morning last week I decided to do a candle meditation, instead of my usual "eyes shut" style. No sooner had I begun to gaze at the flame than I received this message/download or whatever name you want to give it. When it came to an end, I wondered whether I would be able to recall it to write it down, but that also seemed to be fairly easy. I am thinking about maybe recording it as an audio, later on. Let me know if you think that would be a good idea!
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photo: Jonathon Wilkins CC (BY SA 3.0)

Brigid of the White Spring


I am the fire of the life force
I am the fire of creativity
I am Brigid of the white spring
I am Brigid of the white spring
Do not take your eyes away from the fire
I am Brigid of the white calf
I am the fire of creativity
I am the fire of poetry
I am Boann of the white spring
I am Boann of the white calf
I am Brigid of the white spring
Do not take your eyes away from my fire
I am the flame of poetry
I am the fire of creativity
I am Brigid of the white rain
I am Brigid of the white snow
I am Boann of the white spring
I am the pool with nine salmon
I am the pool overlooked by nine hazels
I am the pool of the wisdom of nine eternities
I am Brigid of the white spring
I am Brigid of the white calf
Dive into the depths of my healing waters
Do not take your eyes from the flame
Dive into the depths of my healing waters
I am Boann of the white spring
I am the pool of nine wise salmon
I am the pool of nine hazels
I am the pool of the wisdom of nine eternities
I am Brigid of the white spring
Do not take your eyes away from the flame
I am the fire of creativity
I am the fire of poetry
I am Brigid of the white spring




































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The Moola Mantra and Me

4/4/2014

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Some of you will have noticed little signals in my writing - small but frequent mentions that I am not entirely happy where I am geographically. I'm homesick for Scotland in a number of different ways, and struggling to love the environment I'm living in. One of the things I have trouble with is car journeys, especially if I'm a passenger, because then I really have time on my hands to look around me and see all the things I don't like. A dry, rather colourless and windblown landscape which has suffered terrible environmental degradation, littered with the careless leavings of unsustainable and failing agricultural processes, with signs of poverty and hopeless ignorance everywhere. (Yeah, I fitted a lot of negativity into that last sentence, didn't I?) That's how I see it on a bad day, and it is one kind of truth.
The thing is, though, that since I live a long way from any amenities, I have to go places by car quite a bit, and I often find it quite distressing. Not fun. So much not fun, that I have probably been avoiding it more than I realise. However, I seem to have stumbled upon a really good remedy!
About a year ago, I signed up for a 21 day meditation challenge with Deva Premal and Mitten. Each day featured a mantra, one of which was the Moola Mantra. The words of that mantra are:
Om
Sat Chit Ananda
Parabrahma
Purushothama
Paramatma
Sri Bhagavathi
Sametha
Sri Bhagavathe
Namaha
Deva explains their meaning this way:
Sat - truth, Chit-  consciousness, Ananda -  bliss  (this is also a mantra in its own right)

Parabramha - the unmanifest divine, the divine that is all around us, the air we breathe, the space that's all around us permeating everything.

Purushothama - the divine that is manifest in human beings, as our spiritual teachers, gurus, avatars, enlightened masters.

Paramatma - the soul that's within every living thing, the divine essence that's within every living thing.

Sri Bhagavathi Sametha Sri Bhagavathe - the feminine principle together with the masculine principle.

Namaha - I offer salutations (to all of the above). So to the divine in its unmanifest form, then channelled into our teachers and gurus, then coming to the universal understanding of everything being divine, of everything being a reflection of the divine perfection  and then the dance of the feminine and the masculine energy like a yin and yang at the end of the mantra.

It's so easy to acknowledge the divine in things we like, or people we like. In pretty things. Less easy to do so in the things we find ugly, in people or actions we find ill-intentioned. It's easy to forget that the unmanifest divine somehow permeates all. It's easy for me to feel that if I don't fight the things I don't like, then somehow they win and I have given up. But I think that just creates blocked energy rather than the flowing energy with which I am able to create and to manifest useful change. But back to the Moola Mantra...
I loved this mantra so much the way Deva explained it. To look around me, and remember that the divine is in everything is very good for me. I also loved her musical interpretation of this, and found out that there is an entire fifty minute version. I bought a copy. It seemed like good driving music, so I put it in my car. Well, maybe you can see where this is going ...
It has helped immensely. Whether that's because, as some believe, the Sanskrit words of mantras have some extra mystical power, or because I have connected with their meaning at a conscious level, or just something in the music - I feel better connected to the landscape, more lovingly connected, and much calmer. And I think that this effect has filtered out a bit into the rest of my time, as well.

If you enjoyed this post, you might also like Thoughts on Guided Meditation

If you would like to read a more detailed explanation of the Moola Mantra I like
this one (scroll down to the "Full Meaning").

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Mother Nepesta

8/8/2013

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The importance of rivers in our lives, and of the Arkansas River in mine.

arkansas river
The Arkansas River near it's source, in the foothills, and near my home in the lower Arkansas valley, SE Colorado.

Leadville, Salida, Cañon City, now we are at Pueblo. Little Fountain Creek, The St Charles, Chico Creek, The Huerfano, the Apishapa, now we are at Manzanola. Bob Creek, Horse Creek, Timpas Creek, now we are at La Junta. The Purgatoire . . .  

Like a poem, these names describe the journey of my mother river, the Arkansas (which we pronounce "arkansaw" around here) from her source to my homelands. It is a dry land, and water is important to us. I can recite those tributaries from west to east without effort, like a genealogy. They say the Pawnee called her the Kicka - but the Pawnee never lived in this area. The Cheyenne call her Mó'soonêó'he'e, and the Spanish once called her Rio Napestle. The old settlement of Nepesta isn't far from here. There was still a store there when I was small.

Nepestle/Nepesta may have come from a Comanche word for wife or it could be related to an Algonquin root, ni, which refers to water. I've always liked the sound of the word Nepesta, and I like the associations of water and feminity, whether that is its origin or not. Perhaps I will think of the river's spirit in this area as Nepesta. Now there's something to meditate on!


When the River card comes up in a reading, I usually write something like this to my client:

The River is an important entity. Unless you are at the top of a mountain, then you must live in the valley of some river or stream which mothers the land around it with its waters. A good place to start might be to ask yourself what river you feel most connected to. Perhaps it is associated with an important place in your childhood, or you may have your own reasons for feeling more strongly about some other river. Sit for a moment with the feelings you have for this river and its surroundings. Spend some time just feeling that River. Such an amazing entity, a River. Can you imagine sitting on a little island, in the middle of a beautiful river, really feeling its power and depth as it flows past, constantly changing, yet never changing? Then allow the insights to come...

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River - Birth, motherhood and nurturing. Letting go. Cleansing.
Motherhood and birth may represent much more than the literal meanings, of course. Creativity, nurturing, etc. The other aspect is partly about "going with the flow", but more particularly letting everything else go with the flow. If you've ever meditated, you've probably heard advice like letting a river take unwanted thoughts away -"just let them go" we're told. Our metaphorical River can take away other things we don't need, too. It can clean away what we no longer need, making room for the new things we want to welcome. There is another little meaning to the word "cleansing" which is connected to motherhood, and is also worth looking at. Have you ever heard afterbirth called "cleansing" by country people? The first time I heard this, a light bulb went on in my head. Of course, we all know the dire medical effects of retained placenta, but what an interesting way of thinking of it! It's a reminder that hanging onto things that were once vital, but have now done their job, is not always in our best interests.

For information on readings, visit Go Deeper Readings. To arrange a reading, email me.
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Accepting the Salmon's Gift

11/7/2013

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Recently, in Salmon in the Weir, I referred to a dream I had, where I felt that I was being told to capture the salmon, which is a symbol of knowledge, by writing down my dreams, and other possible revelations, from things like card readings or meditation journeys. Many of us love the written word, me included, but I also recognise that it can create limitations for us. When we write something down we risk setting it in stone, and somehow "killing" what we were trying to preserve. The written word takes on more import than the thing we tried to describe. This does not have to be so, of course, but we need to allow our insights to have a life, not stick them in a museum. Also, writing something down, filing it away, putting it on speed dial, is a great way to abdicate responsibility for remembering it at all. Could you remember a friend's phone number for a week without writing it down or storing it on some device? I'm sure you could, whether you think so or not, but I'm sure most of us don't bother anymore, because we think the information is "safe" for the time when we need it. How would you gaze differently on a beautiful scene while on a rare holiday, if you hadn't just snapped a couple of digital images of it? Would you let it fill your eye and your soul, making it part of your deepest memory - rather than hurrying on to the next item on your itinerary?

You might also remember that in my dream, there was some confusion in my mind between a weir (a device to trap fish) and a salmon ladder (which facilitates their journey upstream). Now I think I understand this. Trapping the fish, via a reading or a dream, etc. is only the first step. You need to get the essence of the knowledge it contains upstream within you. Let it climb the ladder up into your consciousness and into your everyday thinking.

salmon weir and ladder, river wenning
A Salmon weir and ladder on the River Wenning, North Yorkshire.
photo: Ian Lane


In Celtic myth, there are many tales of magical Salmon. The Irish story of Fionn Mac Cumhaill tells how the young hero accidentally, and innocently, tastes a salmon of knowledge which is supposedly intended for his master. His true identity as a great person is then revealed and he is transformed both in status and ability, after his master tells him to go ahead and eat the whole fish. I think that this is an important part of the story. Fionn's act of accidentally licking some juice from his thumb seems merely to confirm him as the person for whom the salmon is meant, but it is the eating of the entire salmon that brings about his transformation. I like this picture. A salmon of any size - and this was said to be a very large one - takes some eating! Think of the repetitive act of this eating. Slice after slice, bite after bite. Did each mouthful taste the same? Did each chewing noticeably add a new layer of knowledge? Was there a time when Fionn felt full, and thought that surely it would make no difference if he left some portion uneaten, after all? We'll never know, of course, but I'm sure we've all been there.

This is interesting, though. Fionn didn't just write "Today, I tasted a drop from the Salmon of knowledge," in his daily journal and then somehow magically he became great. He sat down and engaged deeply with his gift. He gave it respect, he gave it attention. Those of you who have had a reading from me will know that I place a lot of emphasis on working with the material in that reading, of spending time with the information in meditation, contemplation and study. Believe me, I know that this isn't always easy to do. I have had some very profound experiences - with my cards, in dreams, in readings from others, and in meditation. These can be humbling and awe inspiring, and yet in a few hours I am caught up in whatever life puts in my path, and if I'm not careful - nothing comes of it. Well, I am trying to do better. I'm trying to learn to "clean my plate". To follow through with ideas until I understand what action to take, and then to take that action. It's a tall order, but I feel more honourable when I do it, and I think my life goes a little more smoothly, too.

What I know is impossible, however, is to implement all the things I find immediately - just as Fionn did not go out and do a lifetime's worth of heroic deeds the next morning. However, he did acknowledge the transformation and he did begin the journey. I know that my journey is nowhere near completed. It's uneven, sometimes it gets stalled, but I am on it. I do my best to follow the signposts, check the map and make progress - and I try not to forget to enjoy the experiences along the way.

In Salmon in the Weir, I mentioned that I was going to put some things on my walls. At the time, I had recently had what felt like a very important session and reading with someone. He had given me some homework. Things to do and say in order to be more at peace. I liked the ideas, but was uncomfortable with some of the details, so I let it slide for a few weeks. The day I wrote that piece, however, I adjusted the wording and printed some things out, nicely, on my computer, glued them to some beautiful photos saved from a scenic calender, and put them up in my bedroom. The change for me has been positive, and I feel pleased that I took the trouble. This is just one of many ways to make an adjustment. What I liked was the concreteness of it. I still have a backlog of actions I would like to take based on readings, etc. but I hope to hold myself to account. I intend to do it with patience and compassion, but I will be honouring each bite of the salmon, if I can.


You can read a little more about how the posters I made for my bedroom developed into prayer cards in Latest Projects,  and you can buy my set of Four Celtic Prayers on beautiful cards.
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Salmon in the Weir

8/7/2013

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How can we hold the knowledge we gain?

I will not dream another's sweet musings
when the truth is only partly known
the fruit is so sweet but of another knowledge

but face my own full on
naked in the darkness
and recognise that which has never been shown before
and dream it as my own

I will not share you with another
I cannot
for their knowledge would lack the spice of experience

I am the silver salmon driving out of the peat black water into the
daylight
Rising rising
Timeless and heavy 
Falling backwards into the darkness

    ~ from the poem Leaping Salmon by Anthony Dalby
salmon weir
A salmon weir

I recently had a dream about a salmon weir. At least I think that's what it was. In the dream, it looked like a weir, but in the dream I also believed that it was there to help the salmon swim upstream. That would be a salmon ladder. A weir is a trap. When I awoke, I believed that the dream was a message about holding on to wisdom, and specifically that it was telling me to write down the details of my dreams and the journeys I take in meditation.

You may know that in Celtic myth the salmon is a symbol of knowledge, or sometimes said to be a symbol of wisdom. Obviously, there is a distinction between knowledge and wisdom that you can make for yourself. For some time, I have been considering the problem of what we (and specifically what I) do with the knowledge I gain in spiritual pursuits such as readings, meditation, encounters with nature, etc. Often, with a little effort from us, the universe is generous with information. With a little effort we take the time to meditate or walk in nature with deep awareness, or we delve into divination or learn to remember our dreams, etc. We take a class, we go on a retreat. We gain knowledge, and it is very precious. When we receive "good advice" from a friend or mentor, this is also precious knowledge.

There is also a lot of useful knowledge available to us. If you are reading this, then you are probably bombarded with inspirational quotes and great articles (with links to yet more potentially mind-opening information). You are probably the kind of person who goes out of their way to find this stuff, to study this stuff, and possibly to absolutely wallow in this stuff. What I've been noticing, though, is how I sometimes fail to hold on to it. Of course, I have to trust that all those inspirational quotes on my facebook wall, and many other things that I read or hear, are more like part of the river. Each one cannot be a salmon with my name and address on it. I trust that if they help make my river a good place to be, they're doing their job. Hopefully, some of their nutrients are leaching out of the river and into me. However, there is a good chance that what is delivered to me in a dream, a personal reading, or something similar does have my name on it. It is worth holding on to, and worth acting upon. The first step, I see, is actually trapping that salmon. Writing things down might be a good first step - although I can think of other ways I might make the information memorable. One trouble I find with writing things in a journal is that I may connect writing it down with actually letting go of it, rather than holding on. (File and forget.) So perhaps I need to make a provision to go back and read what I wrote as part of some daily or weekly practice. Or maybe something like a picture or a post-it note in a strategic place, would be more helpful.

Actually, I like the idea of doing or making something to seal the memory of an important revelation. I think that this is one of the most useful things I can do to commemorate receiving an important piece of knowledge. Having trapped the salmon, and received the knowledge, the magic lies in moving that information upstream where it can grow into wisdom. I need to build a weir, and I need to place it where I interact with it. Some pieces of knowledge are easier to act on than others, but even one action that keeps the knowledge in view is a step in the right direction because it will affect my thinking on a regular basis. I think my house is about to have a few more interesting things on the walls!!


This is part one of a two-part piece which I originally published as facebook notes in April of 2012. To the right, you can see one of the "prayer posters" I put on my bedroom wall at the time. Right next to a mirror by the door, where I couldn't miss it! It worked really well for me -- so much so that it became the inspiration for the meditation and prayer cards I now sell in my webshop. (They are quite a bit nicer than this poster, but I still hate to take it down.) Part two coming soon!

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When it's hard to visualise -

29/5/2013

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An interesting question about meditation.

I received the following question on the Go Deeper facebook page today:

I recently met a young high-functioning autistic person who is unable to visualize and feels that this hinders meditation. Do you have any suggestions?
Before I get into the nuts and bolts of the meditation question, I'd like to make one general comment about this. As a former teacher, I've often noticed that when someone has been diagnosed (maybe quite correctly) as "autistic" or "dyslexic" or as having "ADD" they tend to think that every learning obstacle they encounter is a result of that difference. Anyone with a learning difficulty should take heart that most of the things they find challenging are also challenging for many of the people who carry the label "normal". That is very much the case with visualisation! Many people find this tricky, and that's okay.
I wish that I could have talked to this person directly, because I can't be sure what kind of meditation they are struggling with, what they hope to get from meditating, and so on. However, that means I'll be a little more general, so maybe this will help more people.

Meditation or visualisation?

Traditionally, most forms of meditation have not included visualisation. There are exceptions, but most of the eastern forms focus on emptying one's mind, or focusing on one thing (a mantra, a candle flame, your breathing or your senses) to the exclusion of all else -- which ends up being pretty much the same thing. So the world of traditional eastern meditation is wide open to those who find visualisation difficult.
meditation, visualisation
The meanings of the words meditation and visualisation have become somewhat muddled in recent times, and it's no wonder. One way to learn many of the traditional empty-mind styles of meditation is through the verbal guidance of a teacher, who takes you through the process step by step, leaving moments of silence for you to try to do what they have suggested. This is "guided meditation" in its purest from. Usually, after a number of sessions the student is able to meditate without this guidance.
Then along came the hypnotherapy movement, the self-improvement movement and the new age movement, and suddenly there was an explosion of techniques and recordings and systems designed to help us relax, to realise our dreams, to meet our angel guides and everything else! Many of these approaches combine elements of traditional meditation techniques such as relaxing the body and quieting the mind, with visualising something. This may be a scene or an object described by the person leading, or may be created from the imagination of the participant. In some cases the "visualisation" is intended to be literally visual, but often ideas or feelings may work just as well. Let me see if I can explain that last part a bit better.
There are lots of reasons to do visualisations. Relaxation (mentally putting yourself in relaxing environments), to create change (either in yourself or in the physical world, perhaps using what some people call the law of attraction) or perhaps to open yourself to some kind of deeper intuitive or spiritual experience. Here the technique is often to create a space in which you are more open and able to listen to your intuition or a higher power - sort of like meeting it halfway. For example, if you wanted to meet your power animal (supposing you believe in power animals -- it's just an example), you might be more open if you deeply imagine that you are in a forest, than you would be if you sit in your dorm room thinking "My power animal would never feel comfortable visiting me here."
We tend to use the word "visualise" in these contexts, when we could as easily use the word "imagine". Those of us who have a strong visual orientation often consider that a picture has more impact than words, or that a sensory experience does.

Okay, but I still don't see anything when I close my eyes!

How do you visualise? Can you picture your living room at home? Can you clearly see the various objects in their places? The color of the furniture? Can you picture how it would look if it was cleaner than usual, or perhaps more untidy than usual? Can you picture it with the walls painted yellow, or blue? (Stop reading and try this.) If that's easy then your mind has a strong visual bent. If this is hard or feels impossible, don't worry. Maybe you are more of a word person, or a "feeling" person. If you are a word person, you might be able to give quite a good verbal or written description of the room, even though the picture in your mind's eye is unclear, you know what is there. If you are a feeling person, then you might find it easier to think about how you feel when you enter your living room, what you enjoy doing there, who you think of as being there with you and how you feel about that. This emotional stuff may be even more important than seeing pictures in your head.
Another thing to check is whether your other senses are also "blocked". Take note of your answers to the questions here. Try this: think back to your childhood. You are hungry and it is almost time for the evening meal. You are either in the kitchen or dining room anticipating the food. Can you remember what some of your favourite foods smelled like? How they tasted? Were there certain sounds from the kitchen that told you dinner was about to be served -- like a pot being scraped, a microwave timer going off or someone calling? Can you hear familiar people saying familiar things? Can you see their faces? If you ate at a table, what did the surface of the table feel like? If you sat somewhere else, was it comfortable or awkward? What about your emotions? Was this one of the best times of the day for you, or was it a tense situation? Was it boring? Were you in a hurry to get away? The answers to these questions will give you an idea of whether some of your senses are more vivid than others when it comes to remembering things or remembering things via your senses and emotions.
Now, just for fun, recreate another childhood evening meal. Only this time, make one up. Imagine a situation quite unlike the one you grew up in. Maybe you are the child of parents who are gourmet chefs, or a Japanese child who hates the smell of fish, or a child growing up in an orphanage run by very strict nuns, or you are being raised by a doting grandma who stuffs you with treats. Pick a scenario and see what it's like to try to answer the questions in the previous paragraph now. Was it easier or harder for you to use your imagination, compared to using your memory? Did you find it fun to create this little story, or was it torture to try? Some people find visualising the past much easier than an imaginary situation. Other people don't have great memories, but may have vivid imaginations. Identify your strengths!
For those who have trouble visualising things which they haven't experienced, the problem is often detail. They are worried because they haven't visualised the leaves on the trees or the feathers on the birds. If you found recreating a memory easier than creating an imagined situation, it may be because you are confident about the detail. But I'll bet you didn't really see everything when you remembered. Not the individual hairs on people's heads, nor the precise weather outside the window. It's just too much work to put all the detail in -- so you trust that some of it is just there, quietly in the background. It's kind of like the perspective in a painting. The artist might paint the individual leaves on the tree in the foreground, but the ones on the far horizon might just be green blobs. We have to trust that those trees have leaves, too, just as we do when we look at real trees in the distance.
When I listen to a guided visualisation recording, or I create one in my own mind, details are among the "hooks" which keep me focused. I have certainly experienced times when I couldn't see what someone was trying to show me, or what I was seeking, and it is frustrating. At these times, if I can't discipline my mind to cooperate, or perhaps the person guiding me isn't clear enough, I give myself permission to quit trying. If I want to continue my meditation session, I just do some breathing or something. One thing about meditation is that it does take practice and discipline -- and if you use those things, it gets easier. Another thing is that you are not going to have a profound experience every time, whether you use visualisation or empty your mind. However, there are still many benefits!

If you are interested in some simple and varied guided meditation techniques (many of which do not require the ability to visualise!) you might be interested in the guided meditation cards I sell in my web shop.

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The music of what moves you

24/3/2013

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Meditating on the spirits of nature

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I sometimes shuffle my meditation and prayer cards in with my oracle deck for my daily draw. Today, I drew this card, once again encouraging me to reach out to nature. If you follow my writing and other work you might think I need no encouragement -- but that depends on which nature we're talking about. The lush, green world of Britain really speaks to me, even from a distance, but the stark, sandy, drought-ridden of Colorado -- not so much. I am trying. Trying to open myself up to whatever this land wants to tell me.
misty lake, Inisfail, Ella Young, guided meditation card
The quote on this card is from Inisfail, by Ella Young. The quote below, is from the guided mediation on the reverse of the card.
This and other guided meditation cards are available from my web shop.

So when I sat down to meditate today, with this card in my hand, and read the phrase "Bring your thoughts to an image in nature which moves you." I decided it was an opportunity to listen. So rather than think of images from Scotland, I remembered a really great sunset I saw about a week ago as I was driving home from a nearby town. It was one of those sunsets which is outlined and defined by the silhouettes of many bare winter trees. It covered the whole palette, from reds and oranges, through to pinks and finally streaks of yellow and blue. A sunset is an interesting entity. Could it be said to have its own spirit? I doesn't feel so to me. It is created from the contributions of many different aspects of nature (the sun, clouds, moisture, dust, the season), but on reflection, so is a songbird, or a bluebell wood.
nature, guided meditation
While the connection between all things must be acknowledged and respected in the individual, whether songbird or sunset, I also want to remember that bigger things like where I live vs where you live are connected, too. Sometimes, in a warm, fuzzy way, it's easy to see the connections between the small, loveable things, or human things. or the obvious ecological connections that concern us so much lately. It's not always so easy to stop drawing lines between cultures, between what we like and what we think we don't like, between my dog and your dog.
If I truly believe that there is Spirit and Deity in the joy-shout of the rivers, then knowing that all things are connected, perhaps I can trust that even the tumbleweeds and dying cottonwood trees contain the same spark. It all contains what Fionn mac Cumhaill called the music of what happens. The music, one might say, of acceptance. No attachments, no aversions, no resistance. Just vibrating with the molecules of the universe, and yet . . .
And yet, what brought the Tuatha De Danann to Ireland? What brought the Milesians? If it wasn't a love for one place over another, then what? I can only conclude that part of coming to earth, part of living an earthly life, is to experience a heart-rending love for certain things, for particular views, for particular weather. This is part of what defines the earthly experience, and part of what defines the spiritual experience. As usual, balance is everything.
sunset with winter trees
Song

A rowan like a lipsticked girl.
Between the by-road and the main road
Alder trees at a wet and dripping distance
Stand off among the rushes.


There are the mud-flowers of dialect
And the immortelles of perfect pitch
And that moment when the bird sings very close
To the music of what happens.


–Seamus Heaney


Set of four cards - Set 1
Buy all four cards in Set 1 and save $2 off the individual price.
$
10.00    

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Life on an Island

15/3/2013

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On solitude, regular spiritual practice, and making do.

May I an island be at sea
May I a rock be on land
   
- The Carmina Gadelica
black house, taigh dubh, north uist, island
photo: Alisdair MacDonald

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Solitude, in and of itself, means nothing today. If I sit in solitude switching between Netfilx, the radio and my smartphone, the result will probably be loneliness rather than solitude - even if I don't recognise it as such. It will also be mentally noisy, and even when I switch off all devices, that noise is likely to continue. One result I notice from spending too much time media surfing is a shortened attention span and a lack of ability to focus. I need antidotes to this, and I need discipline to partake of the antidotes some days! Regular practice really helps. What I need is "soul-itude". Time spent honouring the needs of my soul. Turning off both the media chatter and the self chatter. Quiet in the environment provides a route to quiet within. Only when I am quiet am I able to listen, not just for a voice, but to listen with my very pores for a sense of the divine. Whether I am sitting in conventional meditation or riding a horse, my inward quiet and awareness provides my chance to hear.  

I'm the kind of person who longs for a regular schedule, but as soon as I come close to achieving one, rebels against it. Living in the country with animals, and at the mercy of weather and changing seasonal chores, I'm probably in little danger of ever achieving that regularity - particularly since I have so many competing interests. Can you sense the rush of thoughts there? What will I do first? What chores have I forgotten? Why don't I have more time to have fun?
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It's very tempting to say "Well, everything I do is part of my spiritual practice, so it'll all be fine". It's a great theory, but I generally notice things going a bit sour within about 36 hours of me abandoning the practices that hold me in "soul-itude". Daily mediation, prayer, looking after my physical self, ritual, conscious kindness to others -- that stuff really holds me together, if I allow it.

I've been participating in the new Solitary Druid Fellowship, or SDF*, for a few months, and I've been trying to come to a more positive attitude toward solitude. I confess I've struggled a bit. I'm a little tired of solitude these days, if I'm honest. However, today's daily card draw from my oracle deck finally brought me some clarity. The card I pulled for meditation this morning was the Island - which I define as "The need for simplicity. Valuing what you have at hand. The frustration of shortage." 

The frustration of shortage.
There is an acknowledgement here of the frustration I'm sure others feel, too. I feel the shortage of fellowship keenly at times, whether in ritual or during the flatness of a Sabbat day spent without companions. One of the lessons that has to be accepted from Island life is that shortages are real, and if the Island's only shop is out of butter, no amount of money or complaints can change it, and all must equally go without until the next boat brings more. Some of us may be on this island by choice, others only by circumstance, and others are just visitors to the solitary path.

The need for simplicity.
I have found that ritual, far from adding another "chore" to my list, seems to simplify things. I know what is required, and I can get on with it. Rituals, like recipes, are best carefully chosen, tested and adjusted - but then they become second nature. It's how I learned to bake bread. What initially seemed like a lot of trouble to go through to eat healthier bread is now a straightforward and enjoyable process. This was something of a revelation to me. It happened when I decided to learn a couple of prayers. They were fairly short prayers, and the hard part wasn't learning them, it was remembering to say them. I ended up printing them out, sticking them onto pictures I liked, and putting them on my bedroom walls. It worked, and now these are a comforting and uplifting moment in my day.  As I've shared before, this was the origin of my meditation and prayer cards.

Valuing what you have at hand.
I can see myself doing something similar with the SDF daily devotions. I will value them, and no doubt personalise them, and enjoy knowing that perhaps others are doing something similar. I hope that I may gain a little extra strength to value and use the other gifts I have at hand as a result, and learn to spend a little more time in true "soul-itude."

*edit 2021: The SDF no longer exists.

Four Celtic Prayers

Contains:

Blessing the Hearth

Charm for the Protection of Horses

Cutting Cords

Dreams of Peace


You can see more about the individual cards here.

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New Moon Meditation

10/3/2013

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Thinking about the current new moon, and an appropriate meditation, led me to this. The habit of calling the dark moon the "new moon" causes some confusion because it might seem to describe that sliver of light which soon appears as the waxing crescent, as in this painting. I really intend this kind of meditation to be done around the time of the dark moon. In music, we talk about the importance of the silence between the notes. In the same way, the dark moon is a time of pause, or suspension which defines the light and energy it frames. I also wrote in more detail about The New Moon in a blog post last month.

blue moon, new moon
artist: Jarle Petterson

hush

be quiet now

be part of nothing
of emptiness
breathe

this is the moment
of dark
and stillness

nothing to fear
you are held
in perfect quiet

this is the pause

be suspended
poised
in the potential

merge
with stillness

no sensation

no thought

no fear

    ~ Kris Hughes
          2013

The Fiery Wheel

Poems for The Wheel of the Year, and more.


8.5" x 5.5" 13 pages

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The New Moon

7/2/2013

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The New Moon card in my oracle deck actually shows the moon as it is beginning to wax, with a little bit of light still showing on the right. The definition of this card is Blind faith. Time to begin, even though it may seem unreasonable.  In order to prepare for action or change, we need to know what to look for, that the time to act is coming. When the moon shows a sliver of light on the left, you know that the New Moon is approaching in a couple of days. You are in a great position to make a plan to use the time of the New Moon well!

When the moon is still new but has begun to grow, with the crescent just showing on the right, it's a great time to begin things with blind faith - things like planting seeds or starting projects. However, in this post I'd like to think a bit about the time of deepest dark, and how that time fits into the cycle of the moon and what this can mean in our lives.
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The terms "full moon" and "new moon" really describe a fleeting moment in the moon's flowing cycle of waxing and waning. Any astronomer or astrologer will tell you that the moon is only truly full or dark for a fraction of a second. As the picture below shows, the changes in the moon's shape always appear on our right as we look at it. So when the full moon begins to wane, the right side appears to be eaten away by darkness, and after the complete darkness of the new moon, the crescent of light begins to appear on the right side of the moon's circle. This flow is nice to understand, in those moments when you glance up at the moon and may wonder "Is it about to be full, or was it fuller yesterday?" and "Is the new moon coming, or has it passed?"
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You may have noticed that at the full moon people and animals tend to be restless, more emotional, sleep less, and so on. Tides are higher, there is more crime - everything is powered up and highly charged. So what about the time of the new moon? Generally, this is a time of calm, of waiting. I believe that it is a great time for deep meditation of the "empty mind" type. It is a great time to make peace with ourselves, with our surroundings and with one another in a serene setting - without effort, without discussion. Just to be.

So, personally, I would take the night and day of the darkest moon as a time to do nothing. I would create a still pond on which new impressions and inspirations may be envisioned as that glimmer of light begins to show itself in the coming few days. A sort of internal scrying. Then I might begin to make plans and take actions, working my way toward the full moon when the power is strongest. There is no one right way to work with the moon's power. In some cases, I find that if I have a big, new idea I might only think and plan during an entire waxing period, and after the full moon begins to wane - I might simply let the idea begin to rest and think about it less. Then, as the moon begins to increase again, if the idea has taken root in my heart and mind, I will begin to work on it in a more concrete manner - laying groundwork, planting seeds and working with the increasing energy.
Using the natural flow of the moon's energy in this way is healthy. It allows us times of rest and reflection, times of hard work and achievement. Contemplation and celebration each find their place. Catching hold of the power of the waxing and fuller times of the moon vs taking time to simply open ourselves to the quietest of guidance, and to rest, helps to keep us in balance. In a world where we are told that "we must fulfil our potential" it is easy to feel that we must make things happen, and also easy to give up on them a little and quit trying, to feel like failures, if they don't. Just as we need to find the balance of circadian rhythms of night and day, rest and activity in order to be healthy and productive, so we can also benefit from tuning in more to the rhythm of the moon.
Another way to think about this is in terms of launching boats. Someone launching a little dinghy from the seashore can use the rhythm of the waves to make it easier to get water underneath the boat, and to get a little boost to get moving, too. A larger vessel must wait for the daily tidal changes to be right in order to be safe, perhaps even in order to float. Did I mention that the moon controls the tides?

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