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I am writing a book. There, I said it!

28/5/2018

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I'm writing a book. You have no idea what it feels like for me to even say that. I am enjoying it so far, even though it can be very frustrating at times, but it can bring out all the feelings of being a fraud, of not being good enough, educated enough, well connected enough, to have the audacity to attempt such a thing. I "should" be doing other, more responsible things, like figuring out what I'm going to survive on in my declining years. Or putting up curtains. Like I said, though, I'm enjoying it. Creative people rarely make decisions to do creative things based on logic. I never have. The results have been mixed. One time I got a 25 year career. Other times...crickets, as they say.

Earlier in the year I taught a little Celtic Studies series for some friends. As with the book, the research for that was surprisingly time-consuming, but also very enjoyable. It's exciting finding out things I didn't know that I didn't know. Following up on things I remember hearing about and discovering that some of them are actually useful, and knowing that I've got my facts right and ready to share with others. Sometimes it's frustrating. I don't have ready access to a big city library, and most of the books I need are British, but I'm in the US. I'm constantly banging my head against the paywall behind which so much academic research lies. I suspect I may be single-handedly keeping Amazon afloat.

Like with the Celtic Studies class, I get joy from helping people make sense of history or mythology, of the facts behind things which allows them make informed choices about their spiritual ideas. Celtic Studies is a tough area. It's an area which is defined as much by what we don't know as what we do. Even helping people to understand why there are things that aren't known, probably can never be known in many cases, is important. I like to think it might protect them, at least a little, from all the dodgy information that gets copied and recopied from cheap book to bad blog -- well, you know! I hope I can even do that in a way that feels friendly and accessible, rather than formidable.

My emotional life, my mood, isn't great a lot of the time. My usual spiritual practice is a bit patchy, too, and yet I feel incredibly close to the goddesses I most closely serve. And why wouldn't I? I'm writing about them. I'm writing for them. What a privilege! How exciting to immerse myself in topics I love! I was thinking the other day about an interview I heard, or read once, with Pagan historian Ronald Hutton. The interviewer was pressing him about his personal beliefs and practices, and his response was that, for him, study and writing, doing his best to set the record straight for his readers, was a kind of spiritual practice in itself. At the time, I thought that all sounded very dry, but it's beginning to make sense.

I am no Ronald Hutton. I wouldn't compare my level of scholarship to his, and anyway, my approach to my subject is different, but I see now how both research and writing can be deep work on a devotional level.

Oh, yes, I'm supposed to tell you what the book is about. I'm sure my friends and regular readers won't be all that surprised to hear that it's about the Celtic horse goddesses - Epona, Rhiannon and Macha. I'm attempting to draw together quite a few threads, including my personal experiences both with horses and goddesses, the "scholarly" information on them, and some bits of folklore, folk practice and philosophy that I believe are relevant. So that's a pretty tall order, I know, but I'll give it my best shot.

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Invitation

16/5/2018

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With the dark moon last night I thought I'd try some ritual. What I mostly like to do at the new moon is to be quiet and listen. To try not to be to verbal. To find a way to think that's not so verbal. To allow my mind to be enveloped in the quiet darkness.

I recently wandered into a nice thing on facebook called Sacred Rituals With Horse. I'm not sure how to describe it. A group run by two really lovely-spirited women who are encouraging others to join them in creating sacred space with horses in a very open ended way. There's often an animal communication component to what they do. They're very welcoming.

Of course, I'm in an odd space with this. I no longer have horses, and that is still painful. However, it seems that horses remain essential to my spiritual life. It feels natural that they are. I still feel strongly called to serve Epona and Rhiannon. (I am still exploring things with Macha.) Stephanie and Melissa, who lead the group, assure us that we can do this work without a horse necessarily being present. We can reach out to horses that we have known, or to the overarching spirit of the horse.

I was immediately attracted to that last idea, and for a couple of days I began to set my intention for last night. I am starting work on a book, and it is bringing a lot of questions to the surface. When we domesticated horses, did we simply enslave them, and build everything we had with them on anthropocentric ground? Or is it possible that there was true willingness, even joy, for them in that so-called partnership?

The evening wore on until I eventually tackled a couple of tasks I needed to be free of before I started the ritual. Then as I finally began to think about things, the poem that I've shared below came to my mind. So much for being non-verbal! So I got that out of my system and used it as a kind of statement of my intention. It was midnight before I started, but that's not really late for me, and it was dark and quiet.

I lay listening, being open for quite a long time. There were no burning bushes or great visions, but I felt that I did receive some impressions, wisdom, healing, reassurance -- and I will do this again. Even writing this now, I see some things I could do better next time. I won't wait for the next new moon. I will let this grow, and maybe do it again tonight. Try to get into a flow with it. I invite you to join me. Use the words below as a springboard, if it helps.

Invitation to the Spirit of Horse

Reach to me
Tell me the secrets
As I reach to you
Tell me what you want me to know

Whisper to me
Tell me the hurts
As I whisper to you
Tell me how we heal this wound

Sing to me
Sing me your melody
As I sing to you
Sing the song of your truth

Dance with me
Dance me your story
As I dance for you
Dance your heart into this safe space

Speak to me
Speak of your will
As I speak to you
Speak to me of your dreams and sorrows

       -
Kris, 2018

If you enjoyed this, you might also like The New Moon.
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Epona Revealed?

1/5/2018

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This book was published two years ago. I intended to review it much earlier, but with one thing and another I didn't get it done. Still, I suspect many readers won't have heard of it, let alone read it, so I offer my review now.
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Epona, Hidden Goddess of the Celts

I'm always pleased to see a book about a horse goddess. Research on them can be frustrating and time consuming, so it's nice to have a collection of ideas and references in one place. Cook has gathered up quite a bit of the evidence relating to Epona in this book, including a few things readers won't have seen, or might not be expecting. His own fondness for Epona as a goddess also occasionally shines through in the more factual sections.

My first leaf through this book felt promising. There are certainly lots of citations, and a useful bibliography. That usually bodes well. However, lots of footnotes do not, on their own, make a work of scholarship. Although the title of this book refers to Epona as both hidden and Celtic, the author seems to feel that the best way to reveal Her is not through focusing on the Celts, their relationships to their deities and to the horse, but by taking us down the long and winding road of classical antiquity. Not being a student of that part of history, I found some of the topics fascinating, but trying to see their links to Epona strained my credulity, and ultimately my patience.

The Celts, with the exception of the Romanized few, did not leave inscriptions to deities, and certainly left no written literature during the Roman period. It is only because Epona was so widely and enthusiastically  adopted by the Roman cavalry, many of

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whom were Celts, that we have so much material evidence, and a few contemporary written mentions, of this goddess. Cook takes us in search of Epona's Greco-Roman antecedents, when in fact, there is no reason to believe that these exist. Are there deities who share associations with Epona in Roman, Greek and other pantheons? Yes, but that doesn't mean that they relate directly to Epona. However, as the book unfolds, Anatolians, Phrygians, Arcadians, Eleusians and even Egyptians are pressed into service, as required, to help paint a fanciful picture of the Epona-who-might-have-been.

In the prologue, Cook warns us that aspects of the book may shock some readers. Indeed, they might, although I wasn't shocked, personally. This warning refers, I'm sure, to the final section of the book, in which the author reports on interviews with several contemporary, self-styled priestesses of Epona, from various parts of the world, and their male acolytes. Each of these informants tells a similar story in which ritual use of a scourge or other means of inflicting pain is applied by the priestess to her willing male counterpart. Reasons given for this included the woman's need to express her rage and the man's need to learn submission to the female principle/Goddess.

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This set contains the two Epona's Day Greeting cards, two Prayer for the Protection of Horses cards, plus a chapbook containing poetry and short fiction about horses.

Greeting cards are 5" x 7" (envelope included).

Prayer cards are 3.5" x 5.75" printed on both sides.

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As I say, this didn't shock me, but it certainly surprised me. The author interviewed six women and three men for this section of the book. (All these informants are given full anonymity, which is understandable, but also makes this part of the work impossible to confirm.) While self-declared priestesses of Epona are probably fairly rare, this still seems a small sample, especially considering that the subjects hail from five different countries. Regardless of the sample size, it is extremely surprising that all of them appear to have such similar stories. In my experience, it is rare for several Pagans to have the same personal gnossis or practices around a particular deity, at least unless they are all members of the same group. Use of the scourge is not unknown (but probably not all that common) in groups with a Gardnerian influence, for example, but if all Cook's informants are in some way connected, he doesn't mention it, nor does he share his method of seeking them out. I can't help but think that he was either intentionally looking only in places where he would find this, or that he didn't consider any other form of devotion worthy of reporting. The author gives us little else about the beliefs or practices of these individuals.
Leaving that to one side, if you are interested in Epona, there should be things in this book to interest you. There are plenty of illustrations of artifacts,  and exploration of their meanings, and a considered look at some of the inscriptions to Epona, as well as an interesting discussion of sovereignty. The book is also well laced with the goddess theory, and belief in a matriarchal golden age somewhere in our human past. The author is comfortable conflating or making strong connections between many different deities. How the reader receives these ideas will depend on their own beliefs.

When you know where this book is headed, then it is easier to understand why the author insists on following a route through a variety of ancient religions not usually associated with the Celts. While he doesn't directly say so, it seems that his many references to non-Celtic religious thought, and analogies and associations between Epona and non-Celtic deities, are in service to arriving at the conclusion that the modern practices described above are the inevitable, or correct, method of devotion to Epona in the present day. However, Cook falls just short of plainly stating this as his thesis. If you have a controversial theory which you feel is correct, especially on a religious level, and that theory is worthy of the effort of writing a 300 page book with over 1,200 footnotes, then why not just state it outright? I think this book would have made more sense if he'd done that.

I'm am glad that someone has written a book on Epona. I believe that She deserves more attention and understanding than She is getting, both on a scholarly level and a devotional one. This book adds a little piece to that puzzle, but I feel it is not in the same league as Jhenah Telyndru's recent book on Rhiannon, which I reviewed here. I hope that we will be seeing more non-fiction books on the horse goddesses in the next few years, and that this won't be the final word on Epona.

Epona Hidden Goddess of the Celts, by P.D. MacKenzie Cook is published by Avalonia, London. It's available from Amazon and other booksellers.


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