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When it's hard to visualise -

29/5/2013

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An interesting question about meditation.

I received the following question on the Go Deeper facebook page today:

I recently met a young high-functioning autistic person who is unable to visualize and feels that this hinders meditation. Do you have any suggestions?
Before I get into the nuts and bolts of the meditation question, I'd like to make one general comment about this. As a former teacher, I've often noticed that when someone has been diagnosed (maybe quite correctly) as "autistic" or "dyslexic" or as having "ADD" they tend to think that every learning obstacle they encounter is a result of that difference. Anyone with a learning difficulty should take heart that most of the things they find challenging are also challenging for many of the people who carry the label "normal". That is very much the case with visualisation! Many people find this tricky, and that's okay.
I wish that I could have talked to this person directly, because I can't be sure what kind of meditation they are struggling with, what they hope to get from meditating, and so on. However, that means I'll be a little more general, so maybe this will help more people.

Meditation or visualisation?

Traditionally, most forms of meditation have not included visualisation. There are exceptions, but most of the eastern forms focus on emptying one's mind, or focusing on one thing (a mantra, a candle flame, your breathing or your senses) to the exclusion of all else -- which ends up being pretty much the same thing. So the world of traditional eastern meditation is wide open to those who find visualisation difficult.
meditation, visualisation
The meanings of the words meditation and visualisation have become somewhat muddled in recent times, and it's no wonder. One way to learn many of the traditional empty-mind styles of meditation is through the verbal guidance of a teacher, who takes you through the process step by step, leaving moments of silence for you to try to do what they have suggested. This is "guided meditation" in its purest from. Usually, after a number of sessions the student is able to meditate without this guidance.
Then along came the hypnotherapy movement, the self-improvement movement and the new age movement, and suddenly there was an explosion of techniques and recordings and systems designed to help us relax, to realise our dreams, to meet our angel guides and everything else! Many of these approaches combine elements of traditional meditation techniques such as relaxing the body and quieting the mind, with visualising something. This may be a scene or an object described by the person leading, or may be created from the imagination of the participant. In some cases the "visualisation" is intended to be literally visual, but often ideas or feelings may work just as well. Let me see if I can explain that last part a bit better.
There are lots of reasons to do visualisations. Relaxation (mentally putting yourself in relaxing environments), to create change (either in yourself or in the physical world, perhaps using what some people call the law of attraction) or perhaps to open yourself to some kind of deeper intuitive or spiritual experience. Here the technique is often to create a space in which you are more open and able to listen to your intuition or a higher power - sort of like meeting it halfway. For example, if you wanted to meet your power animal (supposing you believe in power animals -- it's just an example), you might be more open if you deeply imagine that you are in a forest, than you would be if you sit in your dorm room thinking "My power animal would never feel comfortable visiting me here."
We tend to use the word "visualise" in these contexts, when we could as easily use the word "imagine". Those of us who have a strong visual orientation often consider that a picture has more impact than words, or that a sensory experience does.

Okay, but I still don't see anything when I close my eyes!

How do you visualise? Can you picture your living room at home? Can you clearly see the various objects in their places? The color of the furniture? Can you picture how it would look if it was cleaner than usual, or perhaps more untidy than usual? Can you picture it with the walls painted yellow, or blue? (Stop reading and try this.) If that's easy then your mind has a strong visual bent. If this is hard or feels impossible, don't worry. Maybe you are more of a word person, or a "feeling" person. If you are a word person, you might be able to give quite a good verbal or written description of the room, even though the picture in your mind's eye is unclear, you know what is there. If you are a feeling person, then you might find it easier to think about how you feel when you enter your living room, what you enjoy doing there, who you think of as being there with you and how you feel about that. This emotional stuff may be even more important than seeing pictures in your head.
Another thing to check is whether your other senses are also "blocked". Take note of your answers to the questions here. Try this: think back to your childhood. You are hungry and it is almost time for the evening meal. You are either in the kitchen or dining room anticipating the food. Can you remember what some of your favourite foods smelled like? How they tasted? Were there certain sounds from the kitchen that told you dinner was about to be served -- like a pot being scraped, a microwave timer going off or someone calling? Can you hear familiar people saying familiar things? Can you see their faces? If you ate at a table, what did the surface of the table feel like? If you sat somewhere else, was it comfortable or awkward? What about your emotions? Was this one of the best times of the day for you, or was it a tense situation? Was it boring? Were you in a hurry to get away? The answers to these questions will give you an idea of whether some of your senses are more vivid than others when it comes to remembering things or remembering things via your senses and emotions.
Now, just for fun, recreate another childhood evening meal. Only this time, make one up. Imagine a situation quite unlike the one you grew up in. Maybe you are the child of parents who are gourmet chefs, or a Japanese child who hates the smell of fish, or a child growing up in an orphanage run by very strict nuns, or you are being raised by a doting grandma who stuffs you with treats. Pick a scenario and see what it's like to try to answer the questions in the previous paragraph now. Was it easier or harder for you to use your imagination, compared to using your memory? Did you find it fun to create this little story, or was it torture to try? Some people find visualising the past much easier than an imaginary situation. Other people don't have great memories, but may have vivid imaginations. Identify your strengths!
For those who have trouble visualising things which they haven't experienced, the problem is often detail. They are worried because they haven't visualised the leaves on the trees or the feathers on the birds. If you found recreating a memory easier than creating an imagined situation, it may be because you are confident about the detail. But I'll bet you didn't really see everything when you remembered. Not the individual hairs on people's heads, nor the precise weather outside the window. It's just too much work to put all the detail in -- so you trust that some of it is just there, quietly in the background. It's kind of like the perspective in a painting. The artist might paint the individual leaves on the tree in the foreground, but the ones on the far horizon might just be green blobs. We have to trust that those trees have leaves, too, just as we do when we look at real trees in the distance.
When I listen to a guided visualisation recording, or I create one in my own mind, details are among the "hooks" which keep me focused. I have certainly experienced times when I couldn't see what someone was trying to show me, or what I was seeking, and it is frustrating. At these times, if I can't discipline my mind to cooperate, or perhaps the person guiding me isn't clear enough, I give myself permission to quit trying. If I want to continue my meditation session, I just do some breathing or something. One thing about meditation is that it does take practice and discipline -- and if you use those things, it gets easier. Another thing is that you are not going to have a profound experience every time, whether you use visualisation or empty your mind. However, there are still many benefits!

If you are interested in some simple and varied guided meditation techniques (many of which do not require the ability to visualise!) you might be interested in the guided meditation cards I sell in my web shop.

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Guest Blog - The things I've never had the nerve to give myself.

5/2/2013

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I asked Sue Burness to contribute a guest blog, and not only has she obliged, but she has included a lovely and powerful audio guided visualisation. I hope you will take the time to listen to it.

Sue is based in Ontario and has an EFT practice called EFT Coach on Call. She is also the main mover behind the Pay-What-You-Can Healing Community. In her own words - "My mission is to contribute to a better world by helping others find peace in themselves. I especially love to work with people who are committed to bringing more justice, love and joy into the lives of others, and may be neglecting their own needs in the process. I listen to them, tune into their feelings as much as I can and use a therapeutic tool called Emotional Freedom Techniques to help them resolve their emotional issues. I help them to fill their own emotional wells so they are better able to spread goodness in the world" 


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Sue Burness

If you knew the universe would deliver whatever you wanted, what would you ask for? Imagine holding an Aladdin's Lamp between your hands, knowing it has the power to grant any wish you desire. But never mind "three wishes". Let's just start with one...that one that you've never had the nerve to give yourself!

Is it more time alone that you crave? Or an opportunity to learn a new skill? Have you always secretly wished to dance on stage? Do you silently fantasize about a new career path? Have you always wanted to sign up for a painting class? Travel? Wear a different style of clothing?

Some of us are really, really BAD at giving to ourselves. And part of that is likely due to feelings of worth or beliefs around deserving. But even when some of those issues are clearing or have been cleared, it can be challenging to gift ourselves if we aren't even clear about what we want.

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Maybe we've just forgotten. Like any other skill, "desiring" gets better with practise. It's partly about exercising the imagination. I've recorded the following Guided Visualization to help you get in touch with that wish. I hope you enjoy it!

Click here to listen.
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Please sit or lie down in a comfortable position, and eliminate any distractions in your environment. Close your eyes and take a deep breath, feeling the breath go all the way down into your belly. And fully exhale. Breathing normally. Now imagine you are in a very quiet space, by yourself, and you are completely SAFE. This space may be a secluded garden, a forest grove, an island, a clean, beautiful room indoors, of any other place that feels special, safe and secure.

You're seated comfortably on the soft grass or sand, or a cushion or rug. Feel whatever is beneath you supporting you. Bring your attention to your hands and notice that they're holding a beautiful brass lamp. It looks like what you imagine to be Aladdin's Lamp. It feels heavy. The surface is smooth, with slight indentations where it's engraved with the your name. The lamp is made of brass. It feels cold in your hands but it warms to your touch. You know, without a doubt, that this lamp has the power to grant your wishes - even those wishes you've never had the nerve to admit to yourself. What gift of time, or material resources could you imagine gifting to yourself? What experience do you WISH you could give yourself? Remember nobody will know what you wish for unless you choose to tell them. This is your private wish.

Now imagine what that would feel like, if you permitted yourself to have that gift. How would you be different? What you be saying about yourself that you don't say now? What positive things would OTHERS say about you? Imagine, as you bring your attention back to the lamp, that the energy of that wish is inside it. The energy of that gift. As you gently rub the smooth brass exterior energy begins to emerge from its interior, through an opening in the top of the lamp. What does it look like? You may see its colour and be aware of its texture as it swirls out and towards the top of your head. You may even smell the energy. You may taste the energy. It may have a sound. You may experience a physical sensation as the energy of your wish enters through the top of your head and then gently flows to every cell in every part of your body. Allow yourself to feel that energy - the energy flowing to every cell in every part of your body. And when you are ready, imagine sending it out into the world, in layers, in ripples, in waves, and then imagine it returning to you again. Imagine it in your body. Take a nice deep breath now, and exhale slowly. You've embodied your wish, given it life and sent it into the world. You've brought it back to yourself with the knowledge that you CAN grant your own wish, in whatever ways work for you. Now become aware of your body in the here and now, breathing normally, perhaps wiggling your fingers, gently moving your limbs. And when you are ready, open your eyes. Come back into your physical space. Know you have the right to wish for what you desire. Know that you deserve to give to yourself. Love yourself. Always.

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Visions in meditation - part 1

20/1/2013

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Bride. Light.

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Introduction
In meditation, like many other people, I have constructed through imagination a place. In my case, I take a ritual walk to a beach where often I enter at a door, to be greeted by a mysterious and kindly nun-like figure. She guides me through a beautiful spiral building to where I have something like an apartment of rooms, where I may meditate or meet guides and Gods. I may also go outdoors into a magical world. At other times, having reached the beach, I may choose to remain out of doors where I have also had many literally wonder-full experiences.
Most of the experiences, or visions, have felt quite personal. I may have shared them with a few friends. However, very recently I had three visions which I feel compelled to share. I don't claim that they necessarily contain any great message for humanity. I don't claim anything. They are what I saw when I meditated. Are they just the product of my imagination, or something more? I leave that to the reader to decide. Maybe it's not important to answer this. However, I feel that they did not come simply from my imagination. I feel that there is more to this - but I make no claim beyond "I feel". When the great Christian mystics had their visions, they were often in the awkward position of being accused of heresy or insanity. As a Pagan, I have no pope or bishop to approach for permission to publish, no panel of inquisitors. In this day, I am more likely to be accused of the heresy of belief. Ah, well!
One final thing - I'm not sure why it happened, but on the day of the first vision, something prompted me to use this prayer before I meditated. As you will see, the visions I had related to the three deities addressed here. You can read more about how I came to begin using this prayer at bedtime here.
bedtime prayer card
Blessed ManannĂ¡n mac Lir,
Father of the Deep,
ensure that as I sleep tonight
I may only be contacted
by the purest
and highest consciousness.

Blessed Brigid, Mother of All,
protect me from dreams of ego.

Blessed Epona, Mare of the Night,
keep me always in the etheric realms
as we travel together
in dreams of peace.


In meditation I walked down to the beach. A beautiful, warm, damp, winter's day. I had no desire to enter the house today. I felt a bit disconnected and didn't remember descending the steps, so in my mind I re-traced them. I came around the rock outcrop and knew that there must be meadows and pastures inland. I thought, "Perhaps the Lady will meet me here. Perhaps she will take me to meet the Cailleach," but these were my own thoughts. Then she was there, in beautiful multi-coloured robes, and she showed me light. Light so loving and so radiant that filled the air and the sky all around us, and I felt weak and wild and awed all at once. The energy was very strong and I trembled a little.
Then I went up as a gull and saw how the gull loves the light more than anything - it flies in the light, it is the light. Then I was a fish in the sea, and all the herring and mackerel and cod and other fish joined me - rising toward the surface, kissing the air briefly - loving the light. Basking at the surface - accepting the beautiful light.
the goddess brigid
Brighid Walks the Land
artist: Helena Nelson-Reed

I was on land again with the Lady, and she showed me the beautiful woods and pastures not far inland, where black horses ran and frolicked - and she said that this was for me.
Next she showed me that my body/spirit is a shrine, and this was represented by a kind of gothic chapel. She gave me a bright candle and showed me how this one bright light is all I need to illuminate this space.
I puzzled a little about Bride, ManannĂ¡n, Epona - which goddess is earth, which is sky? I don't really think that the question can be answered but I understand that Bride is pure light.
Continue to part 2...

Update: You might enjoy this video I made about Bride, and Imbolc.

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Thoughts on Guided Meditation

7/11/2012

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What is meditation anyway? Do we need to be guided?

I love the way the world of meditation has opened up over the past few decades. I am old enough to remember the excitement, back in the 1960s, when "Transcendental Meditation" (or TM) became popular after the Beatles discovered the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. There was a lot of secrecy and controversy it at the time. One thing is for sure, though, it brought the idea that meditation might be a good thing to the average westerner.

I never learned TM, but by the early 1980s I did take my first meditation class. It was an evening class at a local community college, taught by a lovely young woman, who assured us that there were many paths to the meditative state. We explored a number of different approaches, so that each person could find out what worked best for them. I love variety, and I'm so glad that this was my first experience with meditation. Over the years, I have not been a particularly consistent meditator, but I have never abandoned meditation altogether for very long, either.

Of course, meditation is such a broad concept, that several people can use the word and mean quite different things. Meditation might mean trying to empty your mind or to focus on one thing - such as an idea or something like a candle flame. It might mean deeply contemplating something, being mindful and aware from moment to moment, or repeating a mantra. It might even involve an activity like walking or singing. Then there is guided meditation.

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Guided meditation

Guided meditation can also mean a few different things, but basically means that someone takes you through a particular meditative practice using words. This might be simple guidance on how to quiet your mind and relax your body, or it might be an elaborately scripted inner journey involving a detailed visualisation.

Books may also contain instructions for self-guided meditation. Sometimes, people like to record these for their own use by reading them aloud, but many of them are simple enough to read through and remember how to do, especially if you do them a few times in a row. I have learned some of my favourite meditations from books. Like many things, this may depend on your learning style, but I would say that it's good to have a few meditation techniques that you can draw on, so that you don't always need to rely on an audio device.

You may wonder how listening to someone talk can be a form of meditation at all. It sounds a bit too easy, like a gimmick. There isn't an easy answer to this. Many traditional meditation practices involve time spent sitting in silence, or perhaps chanting. These are very valid approaches, and useful to many people. They can create a great deal of inner peace, mental discipline and order. Of course, many of these ways of meditation are taught to newcomers through verbal guidance, until the student is ready to "fly solo." The more modern concept of incorporating guided imagery or visualisation can be a little "fluffy" or insubstantial at times, but it still offers many of the benefits of relaxation and mental focus that other forms of meditation do, and has an advantage of being themed to suit the needs of the moment.

There is plenty of evidence that meditation is a beneficial practice, both to the mind and the physical body. This study by MIT is on how meditation helps people ignore chronic pain, but I think it also give a clear idea of how it helps us ignore all kinds of distracting things in our lives - from mental "pain" to manipulative advertising and annoying people! Here are two more articles - one from the Mayo clinic, and another from Psychology Today.

But do all types of meditation benefit us equally? No, probably not. Or at least, the benefits will be of different kinds. However, quieting your mind and relaxing for a few minutes will have more benefits than you think, right off the bat. If you meditate frequently (not necessarily even for very long in a session) those benefits will really accrue, partly because you will get better at it, and partly because you will gain a little more control over your mind. Control which you can begin to apply when you need it - whether in stressful situations or to aid concentration and focus.  Each meditation session will probably slow your heart rate and breathing, lower your blood pressure a little and have other good physical effects.

If all your meditation practice is based on the more traditional "quiet (or empty) mind" stuff, while the benefits may be immense, you may also miss out on some of the good things that guided imagery has to offer. In balance, if all you do is listen to a guided imagery MP3 every evening, you will also benefit - probably more or less depending on the quality of what you listen to. Hopefully you will also be learning to relax and stay focused, plus whatever other content your choices of listening are offering you, but if there is no period of quiet built in to the meditation, you may not be gaining much skill to meditate by yourself. If you have tried one kind of meditation and it hasn't worked, rather than give up, try something different.

If a quiet, more traditional, style of meditation hasn't worked for you in the past, try something that is a little more active - mindfullness, walking meditation or yoga might work better for you. If learning from a book didn't work, maybe going to a class will. If you don't want to spend money or leave the house - there's loads of stuff on YouTube.  If you don't like the first guided meditation you listen to, shop around! There are voices you will like the sound of, and some that may grate on you, just as there will be content that appeals to you and some that doesn't. Just begin somewhere!

You can do this!

Many people avoid meditation because they are afraid it won't work for them! They are afraid that they, of all people, just won't be able to do it. Well you can, and if you feel like you can't then I would say that guided meditation of some type, or taking a class, is the easy way in! Keep it simple at first. Choose a class that is definitely for beginners or recordings that are not overly long and involved. Definitely don't get hung up on whether you're "doing it right". You might want to look at it more as a form of recreation (which it should be) rather than putting labels on it like "spiritual practice". Also, if you have concerns about silencing your thoughts, because they might be blocking out things you are not ready to deal with, a guided meditation that simply takes you somewhere nice and relaxing and "recreational" will be perfect for you.
Guided Meditation Cards
As I said earlier in this piece, some of the techniques that I fall back on the most are ones that I learned quite quickly from a book or that someone just told me about. They are uncomplicated and appeal to me because they are portable and they work. This is why I created the little guided meditation cards that I sell in the shop. I originally began making them for myself, knowing that I could salt them around the house or carry them around with me. The instructions for each meditation are right on the back of the card, but after doing these meditations a couple of times they are easy to remember, anyway. The great thing about them is that they remind me to actually take action! They are pretty and I enjoy picking them up and looking at them, and that also makes it easy to stop for five or ten minutes and actually use them.

I don't claim to be an expert on meditation, but I am always happy to help people if I can, so if you have a question about this topic, don't be shy about leaving a comment or contacting me.

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