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Accepting the Salmon's Gift

11/7/2013

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Recently, in Salmon in the Weir, I referred to a dream I had, where I felt that I was being told to capture the salmon, which is a symbol of knowledge, by writing down my dreams, and other possible revelations, from things like card readings or meditation journeys. Many of us love the written word, me included, but I also recognise that it can create limitations for us. When we write something down we risk setting it in stone, and somehow "killing" what we were trying to preserve. The written word takes on more import than the thing we tried to describe. This does not have to be so, of course, but we need to allow our insights to have a life, not stick them in a museum. Also, writing something down, filing it away, putting it on speed dial, is a great way to abdicate responsibility for remembering it at all. Could you remember a friend's phone number for a week without writing it down or storing it on some device? I'm sure you could, whether you think so or not, but I'm sure most of us don't bother anymore, because we think the information is "safe" for the time when we need it. How would you gaze differently on a beautiful scene while on a rare holiday, if you hadn't just snapped a couple of digital images of it? Would you let it fill your eye and your soul, making it part of your deepest memory - rather than hurrying on to the next item on your itinerary?

You might also remember that in my dream, there was some confusion in my mind between a weir (a device to trap fish) and a salmon ladder (which facilitates their journey upstream). Now I think I understand this. Trapping the fish, via a reading or a dream, etc. is only the first step. You need to get the essence of the knowledge it contains upstream within you. Let it climb the ladder up into your consciousness and into your everyday thinking.

salmon weir and ladder, river wenning
A Salmon weir and ladder on the River Wenning, North Yorkshire.
photo: Ian Lane


In Celtic myth, there are many tales of magical Salmon. The Irish story of Fionn Mac Cumhaill tells how the young hero accidentally, and innocently, tastes a salmon of knowledge which is supposedly intended for his master. His true identity as a great person is then revealed and he is transformed both in status and ability, after his master tells him to go ahead and eat the whole fish. I think that this is an important part of the story. Fionn's act of accidentally licking some juice from his thumb seems merely to confirm him as the person for whom the salmon is meant, but it is the eating of the entire salmon that brings about his transformation. I like this picture. A salmon of any size - and this was said to be a very large one - takes some eating! Think of the repetitive act of this eating. Slice after slice, bite after bite. Did each mouthful taste the same? Did each chewing noticeably add a new layer of knowledge? Was there a time when Fionn felt full, and thought that surely it would make no difference if he left some portion uneaten, after all? We'll never know, of course, but I'm sure we've all been there.

This is interesting, though. Fionn didn't just write "Today, I tasted a drop from the Salmon of knowledge," in his daily journal and then somehow magically he became great. He sat down and engaged deeply with his gift. He gave it respect, he gave it attention. Those of you who have had a reading from me will know that I place a lot of emphasis on working with the material in that reading, of spending time with the information in meditation, contemplation and study. Believe me, I know that this isn't always easy to do. I have had some very profound experiences - with my cards, in dreams, in readings from others, and in meditation. These can be humbling and awe inspiring, and yet in a few hours I am caught up in whatever life puts in my path, and if I'm not careful - nothing comes of it. Well, I am trying to do better. I'm trying to learn to "clean my plate". To follow through with ideas until I understand what action to take, and then to take that action. It's a tall order, but I feel more honourable when I do it, and I think my life goes a little more smoothly, too.

What I know is impossible, however, is to implement all the things I find immediately - just as Fionn did not go out and do a lifetime's worth of heroic deeds the next morning. However, he did acknowledge the transformation and he did begin the journey. I know that my journey is nowhere near completed. It's uneven, sometimes it gets stalled, but I am on it. I do my best to follow the signposts, check the map and make progress - and I try not to forget to enjoy the experiences along the way.

In Salmon in the Weir, I mentioned that I was going to put some things on my walls. At the time, I had recently had what felt like a very important session and reading with someone. He had given me some homework. Things to do and say in order to be more at peace. I liked the ideas, but was uncomfortable with some of the details, so I let it slide for a few weeks. The day I wrote that piece, however, I adjusted the wording and printed some things out, nicely, on my computer, glued them to some beautiful photos saved from a scenic calender, and put them up in my bedroom. The change for me has been positive, and I feel pleased that I took the trouble. This is just one of many ways to make an adjustment. What I liked was the concreteness of it. I still have a backlog of actions I would like to take based on readings, etc. but I hope to hold myself to account. I intend to do it with patience and compassion, but I will be honouring each bite of the salmon, if I can.


You can read a little more about how the posters I made for my bedroom developed into prayer cards in Latest Projects,  and you can buy my set of Four Celtic Prayers on beautiful cards.
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Salmon in the Weir

8/7/2013

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How can we hold the knowledge we gain?

I will not dream another's sweet musings
when the truth is only partly known
the fruit is so sweet but of another knowledge

but face my own full on
naked in the darkness
and recognise that which has never been shown before
and dream it as my own

I will not share you with another
I cannot
for their knowledge would lack the spice of experience

I am the silver salmon driving out of the peat black water into the
daylight
Rising rising
Timeless and heavy 
Falling backwards into the darkness

    ~ from the poem Leaping Salmon by Anthony Dalby
salmon weir
A salmon weir

I recently had a dream about a salmon weir. At least I think that's what it was. In the dream, it looked like a weir, but in the dream I also believed that it was there to help the salmon swim upstream. That would be a salmon ladder. A weir is a trap. When I awoke, I believed that the dream was a message about holding on to wisdom, and specifically that it was telling me to write down the details of my dreams and the journeys I take in meditation.

You may know that in Celtic myth the salmon is a symbol of knowledge, or sometimes said to be a symbol of wisdom. Obviously, there is a distinction between knowledge and wisdom that you can make for yourself. For some time, I have been considering the problem of what we (and specifically what I) do with the knowledge I gain in spiritual pursuits such as readings, meditation, encounters with nature, etc. Often, with a little effort from us, the universe is generous with information. With a little effort we take the time to meditate or walk in nature with deep awareness, or we delve into divination or learn to remember our dreams, etc. We take a class, we go on a retreat. We gain knowledge, and it is very precious. When we receive "good advice" from a friend or mentor, this is also precious knowledge.

There is also a lot of useful knowledge available to us. If you are reading this, then you are probably bombarded with inspirational quotes and great articles (with links to yet more potentially mind-opening information). You are probably the kind of person who goes out of their way to find this stuff, to study this stuff, and possibly to absolutely wallow in this stuff. What I've been noticing, though, is how I sometimes fail to hold on to it. Of course, I have to trust that all those inspirational quotes on my facebook wall, and many other things that I read or hear, are more like part of the river. Each one cannot be a salmon with my name and address on it. I trust that if they help make my river a good place to be, they're doing their job. Hopefully, some of their nutrients are leaching out of the river and into me. However, there is a good chance that what is delivered to me in a dream, a personal reading, or something similar does have my name on it. It is worth holding on to, and worth acting upon. The first step, I see, is actually trapping that salmon. Writing things down might be a good first step - although I can think of other ways I might make the information memorable. One trouble I find with writing things in a journal is that I may connect writing it down with actually letting go of it, rather than holding on. (File and forget.) So perhaps I need to make a provision to go back and read what I wrote as part of some daily or weekly practice. Or maybe something like a picture or a post-it note in a strategic place, would be more helpful.

Actually, I like the idea of doing or making something to seal the memory of an important revelation. I think that this is one of the most useful things I can do to commemorate receiving an important piece of knowledge. Having trapped the salmon, and received the knowledge, the magic lies in moving that information upstream where it can grow into wisdom. I need to build a weir, and I need to place it where I interact with it. Some pieces of knowledge are easier to act on than others, but even one action that keeps the knowledge in view is a step in the right direction because it will affect my thinking on a regular basis. I think my house is about to have a few more interesting things on the walls!!


This is part one of a two-part piece which I originally published as facebook notes in April of 2012. To the right, you can see one of the "prayer posters" I put on my bedroom wall at the time. Right next to a mirror by the door, where I couldn't miss it! It worked really well for me -- so much so that it became the inspiration for the meditation and prayer cards I now sell in my webshop. (They are quite a bit nicer than this poster, but I still hate to take it down.) Part two coming soon!

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That Balance Thing

19/3/2013

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Today is the Vernal Equinox, or Ostara, for most of my readers, and the Autumnal Equinox for those of you in the south. Many of us will mark this day in some way with ritual, meditation, feasting or a little bit of fun with eggs! As well as marking the "official" beginning of spring, the equinox is seen as a time of balance, and this year the moon is at an almost perfect time of balance between new and full, as well. So we should all be feeling great! If you're like me, I'm sure you have up days and down days, lots of busy days, and maybe some lonely or boring ones, too. For me, maintaining balance isn't always simple. I can easily get depressed, discouraged, lethargic or anxious about the future, but I am getting better at maintaining my balance for longer and regaining it more quickly.
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A mandala of undyed chicken eggs from our flock.

I am learning what works for me, and it isn't just one "miracle thing". I am highly suspicious of anyone who says that their "miracle thing" will fix me once and for all. What the years have taught me is an assortment of things that work for me. Depending on how things are going, my  personal list of helpers includes Bach Remedies, aromatherapy, EFT, and the occasional dash of Release Technique/Sedona Method. None of these things are really core practices for me, although they might be for some people. My core practices are meditation, prayer, and also things like good nutrition, exercise and contact with nature. Sometimes it's easy to keep some of these up, and sometimes it's easy to keep them all up -- and occasionally it's hard to even get out of bed in the morning.

I've written a couple of times, recently, about my involvement with the new Solitary Druid Fellowship project. (See Life on and Island and Sacred Stewardship) and how finding more rhythm to my practice is proving helpful to me. Earlier, in Accepting the Salmon's Gift, I also described the process of creating ways to encourage myself to do things like say a prayer or meditate more regularly. Sometimes, I need inspiration to do these things, and so creating a beautiful image or poetic words helps draw me toward the thing I need. At other times, the issue is simply that I need a reminder, or I forget all about my good intentions. I need something on the wall, on my desk, my fridge door, by my bed, etc. to remind me. If it is also beautiful, then my inspiration is there, too. Over time, habits develop, and these short moments that punctuate my day are becoming second nature, and giving me more rhythm and balance.

There are now six guided meditation cards, and four prayer cards in the webshop, which I have created to help others in their search for daily rhythm and inner balance. I have grouped them in various ways that I hope will be appealing, or you can buy them singly in any combination you wish. I know that some people only want the meditation cards, so you can buy them in separate set, and now I also offer the four prayer cards as a set, for those of you who would like to explore their use.

celtic prayer cards
There are two "Shamanic" prayers which someone gave to me. I have adapted them, and have found them so helpful that I use them daily. (I wrote more about them here.) The other two prayers are taken from the Scots Gaelic collection known as the Carmina Gadelica. One is an eventing prayer for protection of the household, the other a charm for the protection of horses, which I adapted slightly from a cattle blessing. You could alter it to suit your own animals if you wish.

Well, that's enough from me for today. Have a great equinox, everybody! <3 Kris
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Visions in meditation - part 1

20/1/2013

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Bride. Light.

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Introduction
In meditation, like many other people, I have constructed through imagination a place. In my case, I take a ritual walk to a beach where often I enter at a door, to be greeted by a mysterious and kindly nun-like figure. She guides me through a beautiful spiral building to where I have something like an apartment of rooms, where I may meditate or meet guides and Gods. I may also go outdoors into a magical world. At other times, having reached the beach, I may choose to remain out of doors where I have also had many literally wonder-full experiences.
Most of the experiences, or visions, have felt quite personal. I may have shared them with a few friends. However, very recently I had three visions which I feel compelled to share. I don't claim that they necessarily contain any great message for humanity. I don't claim anything. They are what I saw when I meditated. Are they just the product of my imagination, or something more? I leave that to the reader to decide. Maybe it's not important to answer this. However, I feel that they did not come simply from my imagination. I feel that there is more to this - but I make no claim beyond "I feel". When the great Christian mystics had their visions, they were often in the awkward position of being accused of heresy or insanity. As a Pagan, I have no pope or bishop to approach for permission to publish, no panel of inquisitors. In this day, I am more likely to be accused of the heresy of belief. Ah, well!
One final thing - I'm not sure why it happened, but on the day of the first vision, something prompted me to use this prayer before I meditated. As you will see, the visions I had related to the three deities addressed here. You can read more about how I came to begin using this prayer at bedtime here.
bedtime prayer card
Blessed ManannĂ¡n mac Lir,
Father of the Deep,
ensure that as I sleep tonight
I may only be contacted
by the purest
and highest consciousness.

Blessed Brigid, Mother of All,
protect me from dreams of ego.

Blessed Epona, Mare of the Night,
keep me always in the etheric realms
as we travel together
in dreams of peace.


In meditation I walked down to the beach. A beautiful, warm, damp, winter's day. I had no desire to enter the house today. I felt a bit disconnected and didn't remember descending the steps, so in my mind I re-traced them. I came around the rock outcrop and knew that there must be meadows and pastures inland. I thought, "Perhaps the Lady will meet me here. Perhaps she will take me to meet the Cailleach," but these were my own thoughts. Then she was there, in beautiful multi-coloured robes, and she showed me light. Light so loving and so radiant that filled the air and the sky all around us, and I felt weak and wild and awed all at once. The energy was very strong and I trembled a little.
Then I went up as a gull and saw how the gull loves the light more than anything - it flies in the light, it is the light. Then I was a fish in the sea, and all the herring and mackerel and cod and other fish joined me - rising toward the surface, kissing the air briefly - loving the light. Basking at the surface - accepting the beautiful light.
the goddess brigid
Brighid Walks the Land
artist: Helena Nelson-Reed

I was on land again with the Lady, and she showed me the beautiful woods and pastures not far inland, where black horses ran and frolicked - and she said that this was for me.
Next she showed me that my body/spirit is a shrine, and this was represented by a kind of gothic chapel. She gave me a bright candle and showed me how this one bright light is all I need to illuminate this space.
I puzzled a little about Bride, ManannĂ¡n, Epona - which goddess is earth, which is sky? I don't really think that the question can be answered but I understand that Bride is pure light.
Continue to part 2...

Update: You might enjoy this video I made about Bride, and Imbolc.

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Latest projects

14/11/2012

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Generally, I'd be instantly sceptical at the use of the words Celtic and shaman in the same sentence. So I forgive you if you are having the same reaction! However, here is my little story about how these prayer cards came into being.

Celtic shamanic prayer cards
In the spring of this year, I was feeling particularly frustrated by some aspects of my life. These aspects didn't feel easy to resolve, and at the same time I was having difficulty "accepting the things I cannot change".  A perfect recipe for depression, anger, anxiety and sleepless nights. I had all of those things, and on a few occasions, the sleepless nights became real waking nightmares of anxious circular thinking where I even considered that the only way out might be to end it all. No, don't worry, I was a long way from the verge of doing so, but let's just say I can now better understand the hopelessness that can make that decision seem like the best one. That said, I was getting on with my life as best I could the rest of the time - as one does.

On a day, my friend Linda and I decided to visit our local new age fair. My intention was simply to walk around and see who/what I was drawn to. I was aware that I could use some help, and hoped I might get some. Almost immediately I did feel very drawn to a fellow offering Peruvian Shamanic work. He didn't look Peruvian, that's for sure, but there was what I can only describe as a really good vibe coming from him. I eventually headed over and had a session with him. He did some things with my chakras which made absolutely no sense to me, and also suggested that I needed to have some cords cut. Well, I had heard of chakras, and this cord cutting idea before, and he did what he did - which still didn't make a great deal of sense to me, and I didn't really "feel" anything, but I did feel a bit better, perhaps.

After we were done, he gave me a piece of paper with some prayers on it. One was a prayer for cutting cords, another a bedtime prayer. I kept the paper, but somehow, just didn't feel comfortable saying some of the words that were on it. It just wasn't me. However, I was feeling better. Afraid that I was going to slip back into my personal misery again, I decided that I would do what felt right for me, and after a couple of days, I re-wrote the prayers in a way that did feel right for me. It was an interesting process, remembering to do small things (like say these prayers) on a regular basis. I wrote a couple of pieces about this at the time, called Salmon in the Weir and Accepting the Salmon's Gift.

As it turned out, this process was the beginning of my creation of the meditation and prayer cards that I sell in the shop. Having re-written my prayers, I printed them off on the computer and glued them to some pictures I liked. Pictures which embodied the kind of natural beauty that feeds my soul and that symbolises what I am moving toward.  I put these on the walls of my bedroom. The cord cutting prayer is by the mirror which I pass every time I go through the bedroom door. The bedtime prayer is above my bedside table, where I will be sure to see it as I'm getting ready for bed. My life has improved a lot, I believe, because I took the time to put those pictures on my wall. I felt inspired enough by them to put in the time (just a few minutes a day) and it has made a difference.

Ever the entrepreneur, it occurred to me that other people might like something like that. It is such a simple thing, but something beautiful, with some beautiful words to say, or (as in the meditation cards) a short, easy, thing to do, makes it so much easier to take action! I have wanted to make cards for those two original prayers for a long time. However, it didn't feel right to do that until I had talked to my shaman friend. I needed to know that he was okay with it. Well, I finally had that opportunity last month, and he was very okay with it. Yesterday, I felt inspired to get the graphic work done, and the results are what you see above. I haven't written the material for the backs, yet, or given much thought to whether I am creating another set of four cards here.


Hmmmmm... that might depend on your feedback. What would you like to see?
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Guided Meditation Using Cards?

2/11/2012

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Can I just admit, upfront, that I find it hard to explain the things I have to offer? I don't like to be pushy, but on the other hand, I need people to buy things - and these cards are only $3 each. So here is my very own "info-mercial", because if you don't know what I'm offering, and you don't know whether it's something you might like, we both lose.

Meditation and other spiritual practice should be a joy, not a duty. These cards can really help you get into the habit of doing a little meditation on a regular basis. They were a joy to create, and I really want to share them with people. That's why it was important to me to make them affordable.


Click here to buy cards.
Beautiful meditation cards
One of these could look great on your desk, your fridge door or your bedside table. So is it just like a postcard? Oh, no no no! The front of the card is just the beginning...The back of each meditation card has a simple, short and clear meditation that you can easily do. There are two with nature themes (one is designed to do while going for a walk), another is great for worry and anxiety, there's one with repetitive phrases that's helpful if your mind tends to wander when you meditate, and one to do at the end of the day - to help you create a better tomorrow.

simple, short, clear meditations
There are also prayer cards. One is a bedtime blessing of the household, taken directly from the Carmina Gadelica (a collection of traditions from the Scottish highlands) and the other is a charm for the protection of horses, which I adapted from the same source. The backs of these cards feature a little cultural background material, and some thoughts for bringing them into the modern lifestyle. The bedtime prayer is addressed to "The Sacred Three" which could mean the Triple Goddess or the Holy Trinity. It could easily be changed to suit your beliefs. The protection charm is addressed to Epona, the Celtic goddess of horses. If you love horses, you will love the beauty of the poetry in this one.

Click any picture to enlarge.
Celtic prayer cards
Did I mention that these cards are only $3 each?
Flat rate shipping ($3 US/$5 elsewhere) - no surprises at the checkout!
The cards are even less expensive if you buy them in sets.


Even if you only find time to meditate occasionally, these cards should help and encourage you. However, regular practice has its benefits. Several of these cards are well suited to the end of the day, and if that's the only time you can find, it's definitely worth it. You will sleep better, if nothing else! These are short enough to complete when you are tired, without it feeling like a chore.
bedtime meditations

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