I tend to sentimentality and homesickness, and although I had not been particularly happy there, and often desperately unhappy, still, I had come to love the land. How could I not? I had walked it, ridden it, driven a tractor over it, thousands of times. I knew it with such an intimacy. I loved the grass, the trees, the slight curves, and the different humours of the different, individual spots. There is nothing wrong with that love, of course! But, since I was leaving, and since I was sad enough already, I knew that it was important to cut these ties. To move toward thinking of this place as merely "a place that I am leaving". With that in mind, I tried to say the cord cutting prayer every day. But also to frequently just say to myself, "This is a place that I'm leaving".
My shrine to Epona was in the adobe barn where I kept the feed and tack for the ponies. Over the years I went there every full moon to light incense and candles - also at other times. I did my best to keep that part of the barn clean, and always to honour Epona when I was in the feed room. Her presence was always there. Sweet and strong and firm.